Too all, Dee/MG/Wyllow was found dead late Fri , Family is in mournins, HusbandSteve McCullough) Is making this post.. corener has not determined cause of death, please dont keep asking, I will share what I know as I can. Asking for Love, Understanding, Prayers, and Huggglleeezzz. Saddly~ Fory
I had to read it several times before I was convinced that someone wasn't playing a mean, horrible, terrible trick on us. But I know that writing. I know Fory. I know those "Huggglleeezzz".
Reality slowly sank in. Very, very slowly.
I write - because it helps me process. Because it is part of how I minister to others. Because I need words to help me make sense of things. So I started posting:
Oh my beloved friend, I will miss you! Your love and joy and humor and faith. My heart breaks for Steve and the kids, but I know that you are in heaven and at peace. Still, the knowing doesn't ease the hurting. Not yet.
Dee, you are already missed. It is almost more than my heart can take right now.
As her friends began to process this awful news, I watched and thought and searched for words:
Grief is a funny business. I was literally speechless when Scott called me. Shocked by something so unimaginable that words, my trusty tools, escaped me. Along with my breath.
And then came sobs. Heart-rending, sloppy, noisy, ugly sobs.
For most of the rest of the day, I have watched this beautiful circle of friends cycle around between memories with laughter... And the ugly cry that fills the void where speech fails us.
Now, as memories and love take control again, forgetfulness and absent-mindedness begin to appear.
Water left running. Food uncooked. Thoughts left unfinished. Life... Left incomplete.
We started to take action. Many of us changed our Facebook profile pictures and cover photos to things that remind us of our girl. Flowers. The beach. Flowers on the beach. Moonkin Hatchlings.
And we wanted to do something. More on that something coming up next...
I read the post while I was at drill Sunday. I literally stopped what I was doing, and I had to go over the post a few times before I really understood what was going on.
ReplyDeleteI never met Dee, but I got to know her first on the WoW forums, and then on Facebook. She was an amazing person, and her "daily positives" posts on Facebook always made me smile. :)
I was out at the house with the girls... I just happened to pull up Facebook on my phone and saw the post, it had only been up for maybe five minutes. I must have read it twenty times before what I was reading finally sunk in. My first thing I could even think to do was text Jenn, then Adam, then Kyle (Vrak).
DeleteI shared the post to the SBTALOL group and it still didn't seem real. I didn't really want to bring the kids down so I just sort of continued on. When I got the text from Adam and Kyle I almost lost it.
Jenn still hadn't texted back so I decided to go upstairs and call her, I asked if she got my text... She replied "no" and all I could get out was Dee died... There was this shocked silence as I heard her process what I just said, then a "WHAT?!?" followed by sobbing... We both just sat there crying not able to speak. I said goodbye and headed back downstairs.
I wrote up a post for my wall and just sat there staring at it for a good five minutes before I could hit the post button. It wasn't true yet damnit, but as soon as I hit the post button it would be.
About an hour later Julie and Missy had seen the post and asked who died... I explained who it was and Julie immediately knew who it was from seeing her posts on my wall. We then got on Dee's wall and started to see the posts come poring in. It was just a weird day over all...